Life of Teenagers

Amber & Ryan Sheckler

One thing I have learned in raising teenagers is most of their 4 years of high school is about how far away they can separate themselves from the identity of mom and dad, and create their own identity. It is normal for a separation to begin between teenager and parents. I learned that I need to give my teenager their space, but try to be intentional on finding out what it is they like and join them. A teenager between the age of 14-18 doesn't usually think what their parents like is so cool anymore, like their music, verbage, tv shows, etc. So when my son was at this stage, we both loved music, so I tried to get to know about the music he was into. He followed a group called Pillar from middle school and was a true fan.

My daughter has come to that time in her life where she is distancing her self, so it was time to be intentional about what we share in common or what is she into that I can learn to love. Besides the normal girl stuff like shopping, getting your nails or hair done, I realized she likes to watch The Hills and Life of Ryan on TV Monday nights. This is our time to hang out, we enjoy watching the show together and discussing the plots and characters. When my son was into his bands, we would accompany him to some of their concerts, even hooking up with tours when we were on our vacations (Ohio and New York). Well, the past two days, I spent with my daughter hanging out at the AST Dew Tour watching Ryan Sheckler skate. As a 16 year old, she thinks he is cute, but in no way wants to be known as an obsessive fan. While we were at the venue watching the events a couple times he came up close and all the girls would go crazy. I was like Amber, go over and snap his pic, she was like, no way I am not that obsessive. We had fun hanging out together and after a long day in the heat and then rain, Ryan's skate heat was postponed, so we decided to leave. On our way out of the event, guess who we ran into leaving also, yep, Ryan. He was with his family and I am sure ready to go to his hotel and rest. But he was very kind to stop and take pictures with Amber. She did not want to even ask for a photo. I asked her, can I ask him, you may never get this chance again. Thanks Ryan for obliging, you really are a class act. Amber and I went to dinner and reminised over our day. She was joking about taking the photo being priceless. But honestly, making memories with my teenager, {who prefers to spend more time with her friends and find her place in this world, away from mom or dad}, that is truly priceless.

One White Jersey

One of the biggest obstacles for a teenager and possibly even an adult to make is taking a stand for what they believe in. Working with teenagers, and having a couple of my own, a value I try to instill and hold up high is letting them know it is ok to be yourself and stand up for what you believe in. Acceptance is such a big part of the teenage years and for many it doesn't end at 19, but carries into the adult years. Being brave enough to be ourselves and take a stand for what we believe is not easy. Last week I witnessed a high school sophomore take a stand for what he believed in. I find that so courageous in people in general. It was at my husband's high school football game. They played a public high school from Tavenier. At the end of every game, my husband's team will create a circle and invite the other team to join for prayer. Most teams will accept, some don't. This week the other team did not accept. My husband's team all in their black jerseys took a knee and were about to bow their heads and then from the other side, one white jersey, #7, the quarterback from the other team, joined the circle. He took a knee and bowed his head to pray. Courage, not only did his team lose, but he was the starting quarterback. Character, to walk away from the crowd, to participate in something he felt strongly about. I was so impressed. Tears came to my eyes and I wished I had a camera. It would have been a powerful photo of the one white jersey amoung the 38 black jerseys, all kneeling, heads bowed. God has great plans for #7, I hope the others took notice and he inspired them to have courage next time.

Random Thoughts, Prayer Requests

So many things on my mind, couldn't narrow in on one...

• Praying for my niece, Megan, she found a friend dead from an overdose, and she is having a very hard time recovering through her grief. Lord, surround her with your love!
• My husband's team went to wash a wall today. They learned a lesson of humility. My daughter took pics and I will blog about the lesson learned.
• Praying for Dr EG, and the Robertson family. Dr EG impacted my life by being the first man I ever heard speak about the love of Jesus, at a time I didnt trust love.
• Ran into a couple friends today, have invited both to FRC, one of them attends now and then, but the other shared with me how her boss logged onto mynakedpastor and loved the lesson on anger. He loved Pastor Troy and wants to attend the church. Yes!
• Praying for 3 couples who my husband is sharing Christ with. They have not come to church yet, but sometimes you just need to be a friend. Praying for friendship opportunities.
• Thankful for Pastor Troy and his family. Praying for rest as the cameras from mynakedpastor will turn off in 36 hours. Excited to see how God will lead him next.
• Praying for Natalie, she is truly wanting to follow after God and do the right thing. She is quite alone because she is different and people can be mean when you are different.
• My son calls and brightens my day. :-) My living room is full of laughter right now.
• Excited to meet up with the new families and people that are coming by SM this weekend to check it out for their kids or to become a leader. I spoke with 3 that are stopping in.
• Praying for 200!
• Praying for Campus Teams! Jesus, help them to have the courage to see their friends the way you do!
• Praying for our students, High School is just 4 years of their long life to serve Him, make the right choices today for the blessings in your tomorrow, they think for the moment, but need to learn to think for the future.
• 16 year olds naturally navigate away and tend to share less with adults, help me find ways to connect, despite the disconnection.
• I met a really cool guy tonight, he was thanking me for taking his 2 sons to dinner last night. He knows Vaughn and I just know God put him on my path for a reason. What a small world.
• My roof has a leak, my car is in the shop, but they are just things. No need to fret. My nice neighbor fixed my washer that also decided to join the club. Thanks!
• Words aren't really enough to express my thankfulness, Lord, but you can read my heart and that is really cool!
• many more on my mind, but makes it too long of a blog
• i love u!

Just Ask

Have you ever been guilty of making an assumption and you just wish you had just asked the right questions? Yea, me too. Why is it easier to assume than ask? I think because asking takes courage, takes effort and I am sometimes not quite sure how to ask. But I have learned over time to ask, as stupid as I think the question may be. I always tell my kids, no question is ever stupid, it's not asking, not getting the facts and then figuring out I was left with my stupid answer, that can make you feel stupid or cause you to get the answer wrong. I want to always be moving toward truth, not half-truth, some-truth, or no truth, but the whole truth and nothing but the Truth!

The Jelly Jam Bowl

Tim and his bro, Phil

Kindal, Tim, Blake, Amber






I love football. I love to watch it on TV, I love to attend games. I love the atmosphere at a game. I love the life lessons that the sport teaches. My love of football comes from my dad. My dad owned his own business and was a workaholic, but the one thing he did do for fun was attend Dolphin and Hurricane games each time they were home. He was a season ticket holder for as long as I can remember. My mom didn't care to attend the games, so many times I got to go. I learned football and for a couple hours each week, I got to spend time with my dad.

So it's pretty cool that now as an adult, that football allows me to spend time with my family. This past Friday, I was able to witness the first Farver vs. Farver high school football game. My husband's high school team played his brother, Phil's team. My nephew, Blake who is a sophomore, plays back-up quarterback. Blake was very excited to get to play against his uncle, and was preparing his team all week with the "Beat Uncle Tim" slogan. He even wanted the cheerleaders to paint it on the banner his team would run through at the beginning of the game. Tim tried to lighten the mood by telling Blake they would play for a jar of grandma's jelly. (Tim's mom makes the best homemade jelly and all the grandchildren will only eat her kind and not store bought. Each Christmas when the box arrives each family hopes they get a lot of strawberry and not apple butter.) It was just a joke and no jelly was exchanged!

It was great to see my sister-in-law and spend time with her during the game. I decided to sit with her on the opposing team's side. I love to cheer the team on and knew I would have to be a tad neutral being on the "other" side. But family is more important than the score. At first, Blake's team was dominating, they scored 2 touchdowns in the first quarter. I was getting a little nervous. Blake was also nervous, after the first score, the starting quarterback hurt his knee. That meant Blake was in to lead his team. He did a great job! He told me after the game he felt a bit overwhelmed, but I told him he surely didn't show it. Tim's team re-adjusted their offense and ended up winning the game 37-14. I was happy for the win, but felt bad for my nephew when I saw the tears in his eyes. He said he wanted to win so bad. He didn't get the win, but I think God has bigger plans for his future. His preparation for the task and the willingness to tackle it is the lesson I saw him learn.

And as far as Tim and his team, their record after this game is 4-0 and ranked number 1 in the state. Not always a good thing this early in the season, the kids can tend to get a little full of themselves. I pray they remain humble and give great effort for the long haul. Because when playoffs begin, it is a whole new ball game.